Books Jesus Read

Chapter 5: Suffering and Spirituality – Tobit and Sarah

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of the murdered man. In the branches above me, sparrows were building a nest. I was unaware that their droppings were seeping into my eyes. The next morning when I awoke, my face was covered in bird droppings and my eyes were clouded with a white film. I stumbled to the basin to wash my face but all was darkness: I was completely blind, and the doctors were unable to cure me. My blindness lasted for years, during which time Anna took on women’s work and my nephew, Ahikar, also helped to support me. Once, Anna’s employers gave her a goat as a bonus, which bleated when she arrived home with it. “Where did you get a goat?” I asked, “You didn’t steal, did you? Take it back now, for we cannot keep it!” “It was a bonus in addition to my wages,” she explained, but I was angry and refused to believe her. “What happened to all the good deeds you are known for?” was all she could say. I wept for grief and in sorrow I prayed, “You are altogether righteous, O Lord, and your ways are merciful and true. All your judgments are righteous forever. Don’t turn your face away from me, O Lord, and don’t punish me on account of my secret sins or those of my fathers. I know we suffer on account of our sin, and that we are in exile because of the faithlessness of our fathers. Deal with me as you like, but please, O Lord, command my spirit to return to you that my body may return to dust. For it is better for me to die than to bear the weight of my sorrow. If I cannot look upon your face in this life, then please let me come to you in the next!”