Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). Also, “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:14). Concerning these words the blessed Ambrose said, He gave the form of friendship which we should follow, that we do the will of our friend, that we reveal our secrets to our friend, whatever we have in our heart, and that we should not be unaware of our friend’s own secrets. Let us reveal ourselves to him, and let him open his heart to us. For a friend hides nothing. If he is a true friend, he pours forth his soul, just as the Lord Jesus poured forth the mysteries of his Father. 1 84. This is what Ambrose said. Therefore, how many people do we love to whom it would be unwise to lay open our soul and to pour forth our inmost being—I mean those whose age or sensibility or judgment is not strong enough to bear the weight of such revelations. 85. WALTER: This friendship is so sublime and perfect that I do not dare to aspire to it. The friendship that Augustine described is enough for Gratian here and me—that is, to speak and laugh together, and to yield to each other in mutual goodwill; to read and to compare notes together, to be lighthearted or serious together; xxii sometimes to disagree (but without hatred as a man might disagree with himself) and by that very infrequent disagreement to enliven our far more frequent agreements; to teach or learn something from each other; to long for absent Simple Earthly Friendships Can Grow into Spiritual Friendships (3.85−87)

1 Ambrose, On the Duties of the Clergy , 3.136.