Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

Aelred had written for Ivo illustrate how the two friends liked to use the eyes of their heart to imagine Jesus with them in the middle of everyday life. 1 Given their mutual love for Jesus, it is not surprising that their conversation about true friendship begins by picturing Jesus as a third conversation partner. Aelred’s conversation with Ivo is split between this chapter and the next. Aelred begins by introducing himself (Prologue) and his friend Ivo to establish the context and provide some background information (1.1−4). His style intentionally imitates Augustine’s (d. 430) spiritual autobiography, Confessions . Aelred then explains why Christian friendship is better than the friendship described by the Roman writer Cicero (1.5−10). After Ivo asks Aelred for a definition of true spiritual friendship, they start with the definition Cicero provides in his classic book On Friendship (1.11−20). They then discuss how spiritual friendship is an eternal friendship that will never end (1.21−24). Finally, this chapter concludes with the observation that while true friendship is exceedingly rare, the love of Christ has made such friendships plentiful within the church—a fact especially testified to by the church’s many martyrs (1.25−30). Text Aelred’s Prologue to His Readers 1. When I was still a schoolboy, I delighted in the pleasure of being with my friends more than in anything else; and among the habits and faults to which the young 1 Saint Aelred of Rievaulx, “Jesus at the Age of Twelve,” in Treatises; The Pastoral Prayer, ed. M. Basil Pennington, Cistercian Fathers Series 2 (Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian, 1971), 4.