Classic Program: Starter Facilitator Handbook for Healing Groups

CLASSIC PROGRAM STARTER FACILITATOR HANDBOOK FOR HEALING GROUPS

FOR USE WITH THE BOOK

Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook ( Starter Handbook for Healing Groups) for use with Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help

Edited by Harriet Hill, Margaret Hill, Dana Ergenbright, and Peter Edman March 2016

© 2015, 2016 American Bible Society

Full Handbook: ISBN 978-1-941448-23-6 — ABS Item 124515 Starter Handbook: ISBN 978-1-941448-24-3 — ABS Item 124519

Thanks to: Pam Daams, Robin Downs, Bill & Lorraine Foute, Carol King, Diane Langberg, Margi McCombs, Pat Miersma, Phil Monroe, Hilary Warner, and Debbie Wolcott for invaluable contributions to this handbook.

Cover illustrations by Ian Dale

Trauma Healing Institute at American Bible Society TraumaHealingInstitute.org traumahealing@americanbible.org

101 North Independence Mall East Philadelphia PA 19106

The First Principle and Foundation

The goal of our life is to live with God forever. God, who loves us, gave us life. Our own response of love allows God’s life to flow into us without limit. All the things in this world are gifts of God, presented to us so that we can know God more easily and make a return of love more readily. As a result, we appreciate and use all these gifts of God insofar as they help us develop as loving persons. But if any of these gifts become the center of our lives, they displace God and so hinder our growth toward our goal. In everyday life, then, we must hold ourselves in balance before all of these created gifts insofar as we have a choice and are not bound by some obligation. We should not fix our desires on health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one. For everything has the potential of calling forth in us a deeper response to our life in God.

Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God’s deepening his life in me.

The Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola paraphrased by David L. Fleming, S.J.

From Hearts on Fire: Praying with Jesuits , ed. Michael Harter, S.J., © 1993 Institute for Advanced Jesuit Studies, Boston College, Chestnut Hill, MA. Used by permission.

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION & PROGRAM OVERVIEW �������������������������������������������������� 7 Program model 7 Program materials 8 Becoming a trauma healing facilitator 10 ORGANIZING A HEALING GROUP ������������������������������������������������������������ 11 Content to cover 11 The people involved 12 Healing group logistics 12 Materials 13 Confidentiality 13 FACILITATING GROUPS ������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 15 Participatory learning 15 Using visual aids well 18 Managing group dynamics 18 Practice facilitation exercise 20 THE LESSONS ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 21 Welcome session 21 Lesson 1: If God loves us, why do we suffer? 22 Lesson 2: How can the wounds of our hearts be healed? 25 Lesson 3: What happens when someone is grieving? 31 Lesson 4: Helping children who have experienced bad things 34 Lesson 5: Helping someone who has been raped 36 Lesson 6: Ministering amidst HIV & AIDS 37 Lesson 6A: Domestic abuse 41 Lesson 6B: Suicide 42 Lesson 6C: Addictions 47 Lesson 7: Care for the caregiver 51 Lesson 8: Taking your pain to the cross 53 Lesson 9: How can we forgive others? 55 Lesson 10: Living as Christians in the midst of conflict 57 Lesson 11: Preparing for trouble 60 Lesson 11A: Helping people immediately after a disaster 62 Forgiveness ceremony 63

4

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

APPENDIX 1: MATERIALS FOR HEALING GROUPS ���������������������������������� 64 Sample healing group participation certificate 64 Authorization for testimonies & recordings 65 Classic trauma healing group report 66 Supplemental exercises 68



5

This book is dedicated to TRAUMA HEALING FACILITATORS around the world who are bringing light into dark places, healing to the brokenhearted, and comfort to those who mourn.

They are “trees that the L ord himself has planted.” (Isaiah 61:3)

6

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Introduction & Program Overview

This starter handbook is for facilitators to assist hurting people using Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help. This is the classic Bible-based trauma healing program for adults. This diagram summarizes the process of trauma healing as experienced by participants.

TRAUMA HEALING EXPERIENCE ARC

Bringing pain to the cross

Lamenting

Forgiving

Grieving

Rebuilding

Being heard

Suffering

Resilience

When people experience suffering and loss, their hearts can be wounded. For these wounds to heal, people need to express their pain to someone who listens to them without causing further harm. They need to accept the pain of the loss and grieve so that those feelings are not buried alive inside them. They can express these feelings honestly to God in lament. Once identified and expressed, they can bring that pain to Christ, who died on the cross for sin and everything sin brought with it: death, pain, sickness, conflict, abuse, and so forth. As we experience Christ’s healing, we come to a place where we can begin to forgive those who have hurt us. We can begin to rebuild our lives and communities. We are better able to face suffering in the future. PROGRAM MODEL The Trauma Healing Institute program model usually uses the following stages: • Convening Session: The goal is to give top leaders enough of an exposure to trauma healing so that they can decide if they want to integrate it into

Introduction & Program Overview

7

their ministry. This provides a supportive environment for trauma healing programs. Also called an Awareness Session. • Equipping Session: The goal is to equip facilitators. This is done through an initial equipping session where trainees learn basic biblical and men- tal health principles related to trauma care, explore their own trauma and bring it to Christ for healing, and learn to help others heal from trauma. They put what they learn into practice in two healing groups, and then do an advanced equipping session to complete their basic training. • Healing Group: The goal is to help people with heart wounds to find heal- ing, engage with Scripture, and become more resilient. If some healing group participants decide they would like to go on and become facilitators, they can do the additional program lessons at an equipping session. In due course, they should learn to facilitate all of the lessons. • Trauma Healing Mini: The goal is to respond to specific needs that arise. This may be one lesson, an exercise, or a part of a lesson—anything less than doing the core lessons. It meets an immediate need and may stimu- late interest in a healing group. • Community of Practice: The goal is to bring together facilitators, mental health professionals, administrators, and advocates from organizations and churches that work with trauma survivors for networking, collabora- tion, professional development, encouragement, and prayer. This builds momentum for trauma healing in a country or area. PROGRAM MATERIALS Trauma healing materials are available for different audiences and purposes: • Healing the Wounds of Trauma: How the Church Can Help (American Bible Society, 2013; expanded edition, 2016). The classic program’s core book for adults. The Classic Program Facilitator Handbook provides additional help for leading sessions. (The first half of the full handbook is published separately as the Starter Handbook .) • Scripture Companion Booklet: For those who are in a healing group but do not have a Bible, or for new readers who find a booklet easier to read than a Bible. This booklet contains the main ideas of each lesson and Scripture passages written out in full. Healing group participants can review what they have learned and meditate on the Scripture passages. • Healing Hearts Club Story and Activity Book and Healing Children’s Wounds of Trauma: Facilitator Book. Trauma healing for children 8–13. The same ideas

8

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

as in Healing the Wounds of Trauma, but communicated by means of stories, games, exercises, crafts, and activities. • Story-based Trauma Healing : For use by live storytellers. The same ideas as Healing the Wounds of Trauma, communicated by means of Bible stories, current life stories, exercises, and memory verses put to song. Literacy is not required for facilitators or healing group members. A Story Book with discussion guide is available, as well as a facilitator handbook. • Audio Trauma Healing. Professionally produced audio dramas with small group discussion and Scripture songs, for broadcasting on radio or other devices. • Website: At TraumaHealingInstitute.org, you can access information on Trauma Healing worldwide, including upcoming events, promotional bro- chures in English, French, and Spanish, and more. A password-protected part of the site has additional materials available for download, including handbooks, additional lessons, convening session materials, tests, report forms, certificates, and a blog for facilitators. Facilitators and administra- tors can request a password on the website. Choose the “log in” menu link. • Online Database: The trauma healing database (powered by TeamDesk) records information on facilitators, program activities, and translations. Facilitators and administrators can request a log-in by sending an e-mail to traumahealing@americanbible.org. • Materials Development Handbook : Gives information on contextualizing the materials, translation, and licensing. Trauma healing publications are available at your local Bible Society or through traumahealinginstitute.org.

Introduction & Program Overview

9

BECOMING A TRAUMA HEALING FACILITATOR

■ = certification

Attend initial equipping session

(expires in 24 months)

APPRENTICE FACILITATOR

Lead two healing groups doing at least the core lessons (to get experience) Attend advanced session (about 6–9 months after initial equipping)

send in reports

HEALING GROUP FACILITATOR

TRAINING FACILITATOR

Lead healing groups Lead initial equipping sessions with other training facilitators Certify apprentice facilitators Lead advanced equipping sessions with a master facilitator

Launch healing group ministry

optional (with more experience)

possibly invited to become

MASTER FACILITATOR- IN-TRAINING

REQUIRED COMPETENCIES • Able to manage personal well-being. • Able to work on a team. • Able to help traumatized people (listening, confiden- tiality, and so on). • Able to lead groups in a participatory way. • Demonstrated understand- ing of the content.

Lead sessions with a master facilitator

MASTER FACILITATOR

Lead advanced sessions Certify healing group facilitators & training facilitators

Innovate, problem solve, contextualize, strategize

10

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Organizing a Healing Group

CONTENT TO COVER A healing group needs to cover at least the core lessons (1, 2, 3, 8, and 9). Allow between ninety minutes and three hours per lesson. You can meet for several days in a row, like a retreat, or in once-a-week meetings spread out over several months. The art expression exercise at the end of Lesson 2 and the lament exercise at the end of Lesson 3 are very helpful. Try to do them both. They can be done in a group meeting, or they can be explained in the group meeting, given as homework, and then discussed the following meeting. Choose from among Lessons 4, 5, 6, 6A, 6B, 6C, and 7 according to the needs of your group and the time you have available. Within each lesson, pick the parts that fit best with your group and time available. You may not have time to cover everything. Do Lesson 8 after you’ve done Lessons 1–3 and as many of the optional lessons (4–7) as you have chosen, so that participants have had an opportunity to reflect on the pain in their hearts. Do Lesson 9 after Lesson 8 because it is much easier for people to forgive those who have hurt them once their pain has begun to heal. Choose from Lessons 10, 11, and 11A according to the needs of your group and the time you have available. The Forgiveness ceremony provides individuals and groups with an opportunity to confess bitterness they have in their hearts and offenses they have committed against others, and receive forgiveness from God. It can be done as the final meeting of a healing group. Each lesson starts with a story that depicts the problem the lesson addresses. These stories should be read aloud and discussed. The purpose of the stories is to get the participants thinking about the subject and sharing their ideas. You may need to adjust the story to your cultural context. An important part of the healing process is for participants to share the trauma they have experienced. There are many opportunities for this throughout the lessons. They should share without accusing others or giving so many details that they upset others. Take time to look up the Scripture references that are in the lessons and read them aloud. It is the Word of God that gives life and feeds people’s souls.

Organizing a Healing Group

11

THE PEOPLE INVOLVED Often facilitators like to work in teams of two, especially if more than one lesson will be covered at a time, but one facilitator can lead a small group of six to twelve people that meets for a few hours. If the group is larger than twelve, divide into smaller groups of around six for the discussions and exercises so that everyone has an opportunity to participate. Each small group should have a facilitator. If you have a healing group of six to eight participants, break into small groups of two or three from time to time. A group should be made up of people who are able to discuss the topics together comfortably. This varies according to the culture, but if women cannot speak in the presence of men, or youth in the presence of elders, organize separate healing groups. People do not necessarily need to share the same kind of trauma to form a healing group. The effects of trauma and paths of healing are similar regardless of the source of the trauma. HEALING GROUP LOGISTICS Get authorization to hold healing groups from the appropriate leaders. Participants can be personally invited to a healing group, or it can be announced publicly. A flier template is available on the Trauma Healing Institute website that can be customized to announce a healing group. The group can meet in a home or a room at a church. Participants should be seated in a way that allows them to interact with each other: in a circle, or around a table. Singing together is helpful at a trauma healing session. The group can agree on whether or not refreshments are served and if so, how to do it. Start and stop the sessions at the times agreed on. If some participants want to continue discussing beyond the time agreed on, close the meeting to allow people to leave. Then those who choose to stay can resume the discussion. Be sure that all participants are able to understand the language(s) being used in the sessions. Interpretation may be necessary. Provide any written materials in the language(s) participants read. Healing groups are part of a local ministry and should not require external funding, except possibly for the materials. In many cases, participants or local sources can cover the costs of at least the Scripture Companion Booklet . Sometimes after people have participated in a healing group, they decide they would like to become facilitators. They can then attend a full equipping session, or have a certified facilitator lead them through a review of the Healing the Wounds lessons and cover the program logistics topics.

12

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Submit a “healing group” report when the trauma healing sessions are completed (see page 66). Groups may wish to continue on with other Bible study materials. Testimonies of how God is healing people in your group can bring glory to God and encourage people who are supporting your ministry. If you would like to share people’s testimonies with others, ask them if they are willing to have their story shared. Never coerce people. If they’re willing to share, have them sign the individual authorization form . If possible, let them review the story before you share it with others and withdraw authorization if they wish. Their well-being is the first concern. Also be sure to get permission for photos. Use the individual and/or group authorization form as needed (both on page 65). MATERIALS Participants at healing groups should have a copy of either the Healing the Wounds of Trauma book, or the Scripture Companion Booklet for Trauma Healing. If group members do not know the same songs, provide a song sheet so everyone can sing together. A sample song sheet is downloadable. Name tags may be useful if the group is large or the participants do not know each other. Certificates of participation are appreciated in some contexts (p. 64, or downloadable). Paper, markers, and pens are needed for the art expression exercise and writing laments. A flip chart is often helpful. Have facial tissues available. A cross and matches are needed for the “Taking your pain to the cross” exercise. A rope (or something else that can be used to tie two people together) is needed for the lesson on forgiveness. CONFIDENTIALITY The Bible repeatedly warns against gossip and indicates that a trustworthy person keeps a secret. The process of trauma healing requires a safe space for people to work through the materials and their own experiences. As a condition of their participation, members of healing groups are asked not to share information about others in the group—you can tell your story to anyone you wish, but you can only tell someone else’s story with their permission.

Organizing a Healing Group

13

The facilitator will also maintain confidentiality. There are certain situations, however, where it may be necessary for a facilitator to share information with others: 1. Abuse of a child. If, during the course of a healing group, a facilitator learns that a minor is being sexually or physically abused, he or she must report it immediately to the proper authorities (police, child abuse hotline) and later to the church or ministry leaders, if appropriate. In many places failure to report can result in legal consequences. Reporting requirements vary, so it is important for facilitators to learn the requirements in their area (in the U.S., see childwelfare.gov for information on federal and state guidelines). The motivation for reporting is not simply to avoid legal consequences. The protection of those who are vulnerable, especially children, is at the heart of the Christian faith (Matt 18:6; Prov 31:8; Ps 82:3–4; Deut 24:17; Jas 1:27). Christians are to speak up for those who are being abused and to seek justice, not just do the legal minimum. Reporting abuse against children is always the best thing for the church and for victims, even if it seems to hurt more at first. If your church or ministry does not already have abuse prevention and reporting procedures, seek local expert help to craft such procedures. 2. Abuse of elders and people with disabilities. While reporting this kind of abuse to authorities is not required by law for a facilitator (in contrast to reporting child abuse), it is encouraged. (In the U.S., contact the National Adult Protective Services Association.) 3. Abuse of an adult. Facilitators are not required by law to report physical or sexual violence against an adult, and doing so could in fact harm the victim. Reporting must never be done without the victim’s permission and should never be coerced. All decisions should be for the purpose of safety and include the victim in the planning whenever possible. 4. Suicide. Facilitators and people who are not mental health professionals are not required by law to report suicidal people. However, they should consider safety measures (see Lesson 6B) and calling the police. (In the U.S., see the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.) 5. Homicide. If a facilitator learns of a participant’s intent to harm another person, the facilitator is at liberty to warn the intended victim and should strongly consider notifying the police.

14

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Facilitating Groups Facilitating groups well requires three things: participatory learning, using visual aids well, and managing group dynamics.

PARTICIPATORY LEARNING Participatory learning is an essential part of the trauma healing process. It is more effective than traditional teaching methods, because people remember:

• 20 percent of what they hear • 30 percent of what they see • 70 percent of what they discuss with others

• 80 percent of what they experience • 95 percent of what they teach others Participatory learning is also a critical part of the healing process because it gives people the opportunity to interact and tell their stories. If you say less, the participants will learn more. Participatory learning respects the knowledge and experience the group brings and allows people to interact personally with the ideas. Engaging the mind, emotions, and body all together

makes for the best learning experience. Laughter also helps people learn. The more creative, the better—and people can be surprisingly creative.

None of us is as smart as all of us.

Take the temperature of the group and adjust to keep energy flowing. Participatory learning means you give up some control as the leader and take risks, because you can’t predict what people will say. The risks are well worth it! Look for the teachable moment: People may ask questions about something you plan to cover later. This is a teachable moment. Flex and deal with the question. You can throw it back to the group first and then add your own thoughts as necessary. People can also ask questions that are not related to the topic of the lesson. If they are topics that should be discussed, designate a flip chart paper or part of the board as a “refrigerator” where questions can be stored for a later time. Be sure to find a time to respond to these! Create a safe space: Don’t force people to share, or shame them by disagreeing with them publicly. Discuss confidentiality (page 13). Use name tags. Planning a lesson: Think first of how you will have the group participate, not what you will present. Say just enough to introduce the topic and ask discussion questions (or give instructions for an exercise). These questions (or instructions) need to be very clear and contribute to the direction of the lesson. The questions

Facilitating Groups

15

THE BASIC MODEL FOR PARTICIPATORY LEARNING

Set topic and ask for discussion (no longer than 10 minutes)

ASK

Individually, in pairs, small groups, or large groups

PARTICIPATION

NOT

BUT

Feedback – On one question only or – Each group on a different question or

– One response from each group or – A few responses then move on

LISTEN

Add anything from the lesson not already covered in the discussion

ADD

Topic 1

energy

exercises

practice

discussion

apply

creativity

synergy

16

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

in the book have been carefully crafted. If you decide to use other questions, test them first. For most discussions, have participants close their books. While they are discussing, look ahead and get ready for the next section. After the group participation, always get some feedback to find out what the group already knows. Add anything from the book not already stated. Then transition to the next section of the lesson. See the diagram on page 16. As much as possible, have the participants practice new skills—for example, the listening exercise, writing a lament, writing a letter to a loved one who has committed suicide, and so forth. Allow time for them to apply what they have learned to their lives. There are opportunities for this throughout the lessons. You can also prepare a reflection sheet for the lessons you have covered. Give copies to the participants and allow time for them to fill it in at the end of the session or the end of the day.

TRAUMA HEALING REFLECTION What do you really want to remember and use from each topic?

1. If God loves us, why do we suffer? 2. How can the wounds of our heart be healed? And so forth . . .

Time management is an art. Be realistic about how much you can do in the time allotted. Guide the group without giving the impression that you don’t have enough time. There is no need to say things like “We’re short on time so we’ll skip that.” Just skip those parts without comment. Less is more: don’t go into lecture mode. Keep it participatory and skip some of the content.

Facilitating Groups

17

USING VISUAL AIDS WELL Visual aids can be anything from writing on a flip chart to objects that help people remember what has been said. When writing on flip charts: • Only write the important things. If you write everything, what’s import- ant will no longer stand out. It also gets monotonous. Less is more. • Write clearly and large enough so people can read it. People don’t benefit if they can’t tell what is written. • Stand to one side of what you’re writing so people can see it. • The discussion is the main activity. The writing should support the discus- sion, not steal the focus. • If you have someone act as scribe for you, allow time for the scribe to write before moving on. • If the small groups write their responses on flip chart paper, have them present their paper. It is not necessary to write it on the flip chart again. Trauma healing is participatory and every group is different. We discourage the use of computer-driven presentations using PowerPoint or Keynote because they can keep you from responding to the unique dynamics of the group.

MANAGING GROUP DYNAMICS The following table offers a list of problems that can arise in a group, along with ideas on how to deal with them.

Problem people

Possible solutions

Talker: This person dominates groups by talking all the time.

“ Let’s hear from someone else now.” Sometimes people like this are not aware that they are dominating, and you may need to talk to them privately.

18

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Problem people

Possible solutions

Quiet: This person says nothing at all.

“ What do you think about this question?” Don’t force a quiet person to share if they don’t want to, but do try to make a space for them to do so if they wish.

Off-topic: This person can take any subject off course, in a different direction than the facilitator wishes.

Reel the conversation back in. Guide the group back to the question on the table. Use the “refrigerator” as necessary (see page 15).

Misinformed: This person gives wrong information.

Ask the group if anyone else would like to comment. Let the group correct itself, if possible, but do not let wrong ideas go uncorrected.

Overwhelmed: This person erupts in sobbing and tears, unable to contain emotions.

Find someone who can go with the person to a quiet place where they can talk.

Overwhelming: Someone may tell their story in such a graphic way it traumatizes others.

Before sharing begins, orient people to share their stories, but not to dwell on horrific parts as this may be upsetting to others.

Spiritual fixers: No matter the problem, this person has a Bible verse and advice. They minimize the pain of others, or try to fix everyone rather than listen. Offensive: Someone may be culturally inappropriate or disrespectful of other faith traditions.

Before the sharing begins, make it clear that the group is there to listen, not to fix or solve problems.

Ensure that no one is marginalized. You may need to challenge someone privately for the good of the group.

Facilitating Groups

19

PRACTICE FACILITATION EXERCISE The practice facilitation exercise allows you to get experience facilitating in a safe environment and with feedback from others. To prepare for the practice facilitation exercise, in small groups, select a section of the book that you have already covered in the training (excluding Lesson 8), and that you can present in ten minutes. Each person in your group should select a different section. Do not select the stories at the beginnings of the lessons. Assume that the group knows the story.

During your ten minutes, you will need to (1) present the topic and ask a question; (2) allow the group to participate and interact with each other; (3) listen to feedback from the group; and (4) add anything they have not covered. Use the diagram at right to structure your ten-minute session. The following sections from the book are good for this amount of time: L1 section 2, L2 section 2, L3 section 3, L4 section 2, L5 section 4, L6 section 4–5. Your facilitating skills will be assessed on a scale from 1–10, with 10 as excellent.

PRACTICE FACILITATION EXERCISE (10 MIN TOTAL)

Suggested breakdown: Ask (2 min) Participation (3 min) Listen (3 min) Add (2 min)

• Very Good (10–9 points): Communicates material from the book very clearly and accurately. Group participation organized very well. Responds very well to questions. Keeps the group functioning well. An enjoyable learning experience. • Good (8–7 points): Communicates material from the book clearly and accu- rately. Group participation organized well. Responds well to questions. Some small issues in managing the group. • Fair (6–5 points): Communicates material from the book accurately. Some group participation. Presentation or group participation not always well-planned or clear. Has some difficulty responding to questions and managing the group. • Weak (4–3 points) Either preaches or lectures with very little or no group participation, or the presentation is confusing or inaccurate or focuses on material not in the book. Does not respond satisfactorily to questions. Not able to manage the group. • Very Weak (2–1 point): Unable to communicate in a group. Unable to manage a group.

20

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

The Lessons As you prepare to facilitate a lesson, study Healing the Wounds of Trauma for the content. The timetables in this section can help you plan your use of time. They also allow you to see the backbone of the lesson at a glance. In addition, you will find tips, time-savers, skits, and more gathered from the experience of facilitators who have taught these lessons around the world. • The lessons (except Lesson 2) are designed for 90-minute sessions. If you have more time, adjust to your situation. • Abbreviations: LG: In the large group (whole group). SG: In small groups. • Have participants review each lesson after it has been presented, not before. • Different versions of the Healing the Wounds of Trauma book have different stories. Adjust the names in this handbook to the edition you are using. • If your edition of Healing the Wounds of Trauma does not include Lessons 6A, 6B, 6C, and 11A (the newer lessons), you can download them from the Trauma Healing Institute website. WELCOME SESSION Start with a welcome session. For healing groups that meet weekly, this may take a good part of the first meeting. For retreats, if people arrive the night before the session starts, hold a welcome meeting that evening, but keep it short if people are tired from travel. Participants who have not yet arrived can introduce themselves the next day. Or it may be necessary to take the first hour of the first day for this. • Give out the name tags, if appropriate. • “Getting to know you.” If people don’t already know each other, use a par- ticipatory activity to help them get acquainted. For example, find some- one you don’t know and be ready to tell the large group the name they want to be called during the workshop, their role, and one happy memory from childhood or something unusual about them that the group would not know. • Discuss hopes and expectations for the group. Agree together on the dates and times of meetings, what will be covered, and outcomes. Use the “trauma healing experience arc” (page 7) if that is helpful. Give a brief overview of the way the time will be used without going into detail. The participants won’t remember a lot of details at this point. Keep it simple. • Establish ground rules for confidentiality (page 13) and a safe environ- ment (see page 15). Healing groups are closed groups, which means that

The Lessons

21

visitors are not allowed and no new participants can join after the group begins. Participants should come to all sessions. If someone has to miss a session, they nother person can go over the material with them before the next meeting. Respect the group by turning off cell phones during sessions and not interrupting people. • If appropriate, conclude with a song, Scripture reading, and prayer.

LESSON 1: IF GOD LOVES US, WHY DO WE SUFFER?

Learning objectives By the end of this lesson, participants will be able to:

• Begin to make sense of their faith in God and their experience of suffering • Identify cultural beliefs about God and evaluate them in the light of Scripture • Identify false teaching about God that makes suffering more difficult • Explore problems with earthly fathers that keep us from experiencing the love of our heavenly Father. • Begin to experience God’s love in the midst of suffering

Lesson 1 Section Sub points

LG: Read story (5 min)

1. Story (15 min)

SG: Discussion Question: “What is the pastor feeling in his heart about God?” (5 min) LG: Feedback (selective) (5 min) LG: Intro: When we suffer, we try to make sense of our lives. Cultural beliefs may come to mind if our faith is being tested. (2 min) SG: Discussion Question: “What does your culture tell you God is like, especially in times of suffering?” (6 min) LG: Feedback: List qualities on the board in one column. (7 min) SG: Hand out slips of paper with the verse references in Section 2 on them (Romans 8:35–39; 2 Peter 3:9; Psalm 34:18; Genesis 6:5–6; Matthew 9:35–36; 1 John 4:9–10). Have people read the verses out loud and discuss. (5 min)

2. God’s character (25 min)

22

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Lesson 1 Section Sub points

LG: Write the feedback on the board in the second column. Compare the two lists. Emphasize that this is a tool to use whenever doubts about God’s love arise. (5 min) LG: We are quick to blame God when bad things happen, so discuss this question: “What do the Scriptures tell us about the origin of suffering in the world?” Get feedback. If any of the three main reasons in the book aren’t mentioned, add them. Point out that we often do not know exactly why we are suffering. For example, Job did not know why he was suffering. His friends thought they knew exactly why he was suffering, but they were wrong. (5 min) Evil is evil, but there’s nothing God can’t redeem and he will always get the last word. We can’t explain why God allows us to suffer. Even if we could, it would not take away the pain. It can be helpful, however, to look back on our lives to see how God has used the suffering we’ve experienced in ways that have resulted in at least some good. In 2s: 1. How has God used suffering in your life? 2. Think of a Scripture passage that relates to the way God has used suffering in your life. (8 min) LG: Get feedback on Question 2. Top it up with anything in the book that has not already been mentioned. Read or refer to at least some Scripture passages like 1 Peter 1:6–7, Genesis 50:18–20, and 2 Corinthians 1:3–5. (7 min) LG: Sections A to C: Ask each of these questions and get a response. Then read the Bible passage suggested and discuss how it addresses the issue. What will we think if we are suffering and … • We only hear about God’s anger and never about his love? (1 John 4:9–10) • We are told that suffering means we haven’t done enough to please God? (Eph 2:8-9) • We are told God promises prosperity for everyone who believes? (2 Cor 1:8–10) • We neglect doing things that will help our faith grow strong? (2 Tim 3:14–17) • The church does not speak out against evil? (Luke 4:18– 19) (10 min)

3. The origin of suffering (5 min)

4. God uses suffering (15 min)

5. Why is it difficult to believe? (25 min)

The Lessons

23

Lesson 1 Section Sub points

LG: Explain the way a child’s experience with their father affects their experience of God’s love. (3 min)

In 2s: Discussion Question: Think about your own father. As a child, did you experience his love? How does your experience with your earthly father affect your experience with your heavenly Father? (8 min)

LG: Get selective feedback (4 min)

LG: Exercise: Experience God’s Love. Suggested song: “The steadfast love of the Lord.”

Closing exercise (5 min)

Tips Some facilitators choose to cover Section 5, “Why is it difficult to believe?” before Section 4, “God uses suffering.” Choose the option that best suits your group. Do Section 5A as a skit: A person has just experienced trauma (for example, her son died after being seriously injured in a car accident). She is overwhelmed and decides to listen to Christian radio for encouragement. A radio pastor on the first station she finds says, “Do you have sin in your life? God knows—and he punishes sin! Repent before you fall into the hands of an angry God.”The woman says, “Oh, I must have sinned. That’s why this happened! God is angry with me. But what did I do? I don’t know what to confess!” She decides to go to another station, where a radio pastor says, “Jesus said, ‘Fast and pray!’ How much have you prayed today? How much have you fasted this week? How much money have you given to the church? Redouble your efforts and God will be pleased with you. He will answer your prayers.” “Oh,” the woman says. “I have not done enough to please God. I should have prayed for two hours each morning, not just one. I should have fasted two days a week, not just one. And I should have found a way to give more money to the church. Then God would have blessed me. My son would not have died.” She turns the dial once more and hears this: “Hallelujah! If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain—move to the sea, and it will be moved. Dear ones, do you have faith ? Move that mountain in your life!” “Oh,” the woman says, “If only I had had more faith, my son would not have died. It’s all my fault!”

24

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Discuss the skit, bringing out the Scripture passages in Section 5. Time-savers

• Section 4 is most familiar to people. If you have to skip something, skip this. Or, just get feedback from two or three people, summarize by saying that we know God uses suffering in our lives in many ways, and move on. • Use the closing exercise as a devotional the next morning.

LESSON 2: HOW CAN THE WOUNDS OF OUR HEARTS BE HEALED?

Prepare the listening skit below in advance. Observe the actors practice it and give feedback. It is much more effective if they can act out the skit rather than just reading it. This lesson takes at least two hours. Allow for more than one period. Take time for

the listening and art expression exercises. We can be traumatized when we are overwhelmed with intense fear, helplessness, or horror in the face of death, serious injury, rape, or other forced sexual acts. We can also be traumatized secondarily, whenwe listen to someone else’s traumatic experience (Lesson 7), especially if it is a family member or close friend. Trauma leads to grief, as it involves loss of some sort. But we can experience grief without trauma (the slow death of an elderly parent, for example). Not all emotional pain is trauma, and not all problem behaviors are the result of trauma.

GRIEF

TRAUMA/ HEART WOUND • intense fear • helplessness • horror

Trauma always involves grief, but we can experience grief without trauma.

Learning objectives By the end of this lesson, participants will be able to: • Define the concept of trauma as a “heart wound”

• Identify behaviors that may indicate a heart wound in self and others • Give biblical support that shows God accepts our honest emotions • “Treat” heart wounds by listening to a person share their pain • “Treat” heart wounds by doing an art expression exercise • Manage strong feelings through a breathing exercise

The Lessons

25

Lesson 2 Section Sub points

LG: Read (4 min)

1. Story (20 min)

SG: Discussion Question 1 : “Besides the loss of John’s arm, what else has he lost? What has Mary lost? What has their older son lost?” Assign each group to discuss one character: John, Mary, or the son (adjust to the characters in your story). (5 min) LG: Feedback. List for John, Mary, son (security, beauty, economic ability, faith, health, sleep, happy home life, friends, job, etc.). The goal is that participants see how much was affected by this one event. (11 min) LG: Comparison with physical wound: Before the lesson starts, write out the physical wound column on the board or flip chart. Leave the heart wound column blank. Then have the group discover the similarities and differences. (10 min) LG: Present the three main ways traumatized people behave: (3 min) • reliving (like having a nightmare while awake or night- mares while sleeping) • avoiding (places, people, and emotions—going numb, using drugs) • being always on alert (panic, fear, angry outbursts; leads to physical illnesses and problems) SG: Discussion Questions: “Now think about wounded people you know. Have you seen these behaviors? Explain.” (5 min) LG: Stand in a large circle. Ask: “If you know someone who has relived a trauma through nightmares or flashbacks, step into the circle.” Then ask: “If you know someone who has tried to avoid memories of trauma through alcohol, drugs, overworking, overeating, and so forth, step into the circle.” Finally, ask: “If you know someone who has been on alert all the time (jumpy, tense, overreacting, fast heartbeat, and so forth) after experiencing a traumatic event, step into the circle.” This exercise helps the group see that these behaviors are normal and widespread. (5 min)

2. Heart wound (26 min)

Option 1

Option 2

26

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

Lesson 2 Section Sub points

LG: Feedback (5 min)

LG: What makes some wounds of the heart more serious? (Section 2C) (3 min)

SG: Assign the verses in this section (Matt 26:37–38; Matt 26:75; 1 Sam 1:10, 13–16; John 11:33–35; Jonah 4:1–3; Ps 55:4–6) to different groups. Have them discuss what the verse shows us about handling our emotions. (10 min) LG: Have each group read or summarize their passage and their discussion (10 min) LG: Listening skit: Use the skit below to model both bad and good listening. Be sure the good listening skit is not giving advice! Have the group discuss what they observed. Bring out the goal of listening and what a good listener is like (Section 4A & 4B). (15 min) LG: How can we listen? Explain the listening questions in Section 4C: • Q1: “What happened?” establishes facts and timeline. • Q2: “How did you feel?” Healing takes place at the level of emotions. Naming the emotions puts boundaries on vague feelings. • Q3: “What was the hardest part for you?” Each person is different. We need to know the answer to this from them. Bring out other points in this section. (5 min) LG: Serious cases. Cover this material. Have people discuss what services are available in their area to get the additional support people need. You may want to research options in advance. (5 min)

3. Bible on emotions (20 min)

4. Helping someone heal (55 min)

In 2s: Listening exercise (end of Section 4) (20 min)

LG: Debrief listening exercise. (10 min)

The Lessons

27

Listening skit Michael was in a bad car accident a week ago which left him with a broken arm and minor concussion, nearly killed his wife and child, and killed the driver of the other car. He has been able to go home from the hospital but is worried about his family. Although he has people to help him with meals, housework, and getting to and from the hospital for visits, he is feeling worse and worse. His pastor, Paul, has just stopped at the hospital to visit Michael’s wife and daughter. He finds Michael in the waiting area, pacing back and forth. ( P = Pastor Paul; M = Michael ) P: (Rushed greeting) I came to see your family. M: They’re sleeping just now, but I’m not doing so well. P: Look at the positive : you survived! Thank God! (rushed) M: But I’m feeling confused . Could we talk? P: (distracted) I have a building committee meeting. Let’s talk as we walk to my car. M: Okay (reluctantly). Now that my wife and daughter are okay, I’m feeling worse. I’m not sleeping and I’m avoiding cars and especially driving. P: There’s no reason to be afraid . Forget it. Take control . God hasn’t given us a “spirit of fear.” M: Oh no! Now I feel guilty about feeling afraid. And I feel angry. I know I should feel thankful , but . . . P: Yes! You should be thankful. Being thankful will wipe away the negative feelings. This reminds me of when our church burned down. I decided to rejoice, and everything was fine. M: I tried to but I can’t control the fear. (P’s phone rings) P: ( answers his phone and says) “I’m talking with Michael. He’s having a really hard time, but I’ll be there as soon as I can get away.” M: I can see you’re busy, but what can I do about this fear? P: Remember Romans 8:28 . Be thankful. I’ll ask the church to pray for you. M: Oh please no, don’t tell everyone! P: Don’t worry—we’re a family. It’s all in the family. There’s no reason to be embarrassed. I’ve gotta run. M: (dejected) Good listening P: Greeting. Came to see you. M: Thanks! I’m not doing so well. P: Do you want to talk? Let’s go somewhere private. M: Okay. Bad listening

28

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook

P: Tell me what happened. M. It’s a horrible scene in my head . We were going up a hill, a car came over the hill into our lane, speeding. There was no time to react. I swerved and spun and ended up in a ditch upside down. I smelled gas. My wife and daughter were unconscious and bleeding. I got out and was screaming for my family. I managed to get them out from under the car. I was afraid the gas would explode. P: It’s amazing you could think clearly . Were you in pain? M: I don’t know. It was a blurry nightmare. I think I was in shock. P: How did you feel? M: I was worried about our new suitcases. I know that sounds crazy. P: That’s not crazy. Maybe it kept you from being overwhelmed . M: I hadn’t thought about it like that. P: Tell me more. M: Well, first I was glad to have survived, but now I have bad thoughts and feelings. I’m confused. I felt so helpless and wanted to kill the driver . He died, but I wish I could have killed him myself. I shouldn’t feel this way. P: I’d probably feel that way, too . M: Really? Helpful to hear . I just don’t feel thankful, even though my family survived. I’m not sleeping well. I know cars are probably safe, but I’m afraid of them anyway. I’m feeling very angry for no reason . I should feel thankful my family is recovering, right? P: Well, it’s normal to have all these feelings after what you’ve been through. What was the hardest thing for you? M: The worst was seeing my daughter and wife injured. P: Yeah. You said you felt helpless? M: Totally. I’m a man, you know, and I couldn’t do anything. P: What helped you cope so far? M: My family needs me. P: Yeah. We love you too. We can talk again next week, okay? M: Thanks. It really helps to talk about it . Do you want to see my family? They’re awake now. P: Yes, let’s.

The Lessons

29

Bottles under water If time allows, do this after the listening skit to demonstrate the effects of keeping our pain inside. Find a space outdoors. Get a basin full of water and five or six empty water bottles. Each bottle represents a pain. Have everyone gather around and talk about the different pains as you put each bottle in the water. Try to hold all the bottles under water at the same time. This takes a lot of energy, in the same way that keeping pain inside takes a lot of energy. We are not able to pay attention to things like sermons, school, work, and so forth. Now let the bottles surface and say, “We need to let the pain out to heal.” Tips 1. Use the breathing exercise as time allows—for example, at the end of the day or after a break. See page 68 if this is not in your edition of HWT . 2. Translating “trauma”: If participants will be ministering in languages other than the language of the session, take time to ensure that they all know how to say “trauma” in those languages. “Heart wound” works in many languages. Read Psalm 109:22: “I am poor and needy; I am hurt to the depths of my heart.” Ask: • How would you say this verse in your language? • How can you express the concept of trauma in your language? Time-savers Bring out how traumatized people behave from the story discussion. Top up anything missing from Section 2B in that discussion and skip that section later. Art expression exercise Take an hour to do the art expression exercise (Orientation: 5–10 min; Draw: 20–30 min; Share: 25 min; Debrief: 5 min). For the sharing time, form small groups of those who would like to share. Use the two questions at the end of Lesson 2. This can be a very powerful experience, so encourage everyone to keep silent so they do not disturb others. They may want to spread out to be alone while drawing.

30

Classic Program Facilitator Handbook