Healing the Wounds of Trauma

3. What are the effects of rape? Rape is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. It leaves deep wounds in the heart that last for a long time. Because victims feel ashamed by rape, the wounds it causes are often kept very secret. No one else ever knows what happened. Just because a person does not talk about being raped does not mean a rape has not happened. ❂❂ SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION 1. Do you knowof anyonewho has been raped?Howdo you think the rape affected him or her? The family? The community? 2. Do you know anyone who has raped someone? How has it affected him or her? A. How does rape affect people? • They may feel a deep sense of shame. They may feel covered with a dirtiness they cannot remove. • They may feel ruined, or that they no longer have any value. An unmarried womanmay feel that no one will ever want tomarry her. She may be very sad to the point of wanting to kill herself. • Women who have been raped may be angry at all men. They may be angry at God for letting it happen. This anger may be let out on anyone who is with them. • They may feel guilty and think God is punishing them. They may ask, “What did I do to cause this to happen to me?” Oth- ers may reinforce this feeling by accusing the victim of being responsible for the rape. • They may be afraid to tell anyone, fearing that if others knew they might accuse the victim of lying or blame them for what happened. Spouses or partners might reject them, and the community may look down on them. • They may no longer be able to enjoy sexual relations, and even become frigid (stiff with fear about sex). Or they may begin having sex with many people because they feel that they are ruined and worthless.

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How Can We Help Someone Who Has Been Raped?