Healing the Wounds of Trauma

When a woman talks to someone about her rape experience, it is very personal and a bond can form between them. Because of this, it is better if a woman talks with the raped woman. If a man is talking with her, it would be better that another woman be present. This could be either the man’s wife or a mature woman in the church. If another woman cannot be present, his wife and someone else in the church should know that he is talking with the raped woman, and when and where this is taking place. Some people who have been raped will not feel free to share their pain with anyone. For this reason, churches should include prayers and teaching for rape victims in their services. This might bring a ray of hope to people who have deep, secret pain. It may also help them realize that they can talk about this subject with others. The counselor must enable victims to talk openly about what has happened and what they are feeling. They should be allowed to say how angry and ashamed they feel. It is very common for rape victims to be angry with God. This is okay. God is able to accept their anger and still love them. It is better for them to be truthful about their feelings than to hide them. Writing a lament would be a good way to get the feelings out (See Lesson 3, “Laments,” on page 41). The first step in healing occurs when people realize the impact of the rape on their lives. This comes about by talking with someone who listens attentively, trying to understand how they feel. Victims will need a lot of time to talk about this over the following days and months. ❂❂ DISCUSSION IN TWOS 1. If you had a big problem, who would you talk to? 2. What people in your church could be trained to help someone who has been raped? C. They need to know that they are loved. At first, victims may be so angry with God that they are not willing to pray or listen to God’s Word. The only love they might be able to accept is that of those around them. By seeing that others still value and love them, they will gradually realize that they are not

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How Can We Help Someone Who Has Been Raped?