Healing the Wounds of Trauma

EXERCISE KEY

All are false. 1. Violence within the home is a private family matter.

It is sin and sin needs to be brought to the light and addressed, or it festers and grows. In most countries, domestic abuse is a crime. The church is called to protect people who are mistreated and powerless. 2. Alcohol and drugs are the main cause of domestic violence. People can abuse their partner without ever drinking alcohol or tak- ing drugs, but alcohol and drugs makes abuse happen more easily, like putting kerosene on charcoal to start a fire. Not being able to manage anger is also not the main cause, but contributes to the problem.Themain cause for domestic abuse is the desire to control and intimidate others because inside, the person is out of control. This is often due to things that happened during their childhood. 3. A victim enjoys being abused. It is normal for this to happen. The idea that anyone enjoys being abused is simply false, but this belief makes abusers feel good about their actions. To be abused is to be humiliated and made small, rather than becoming the wonderful person God created the victim to be. 4. A victim could stop the abuse if she or he really tried. Only the abuser can stop the abuse. No one can make them stop. The abuser is responsible for his or her actions (Mt 15.18–19), but often blames others. 5. Often, abuse stops without outside intervention. Abusers need to face their personal problems for the abuse to stop, and most often they cannot do this without help. People do not give up power easily. Even if the physical abuse stops, the abuser can continue to control the victimwithout ever losing their temper or becoming violent. Clearing their throat, or a certain look, can be enough. 6. Someonewho is violent towards a partnerwill be violent towards others. Abusers know how to be very pleasant in public. Some people who appear to be normal and successful abuse their partners. Usually, it’s not possible to tell an abusive person from other people. For example, Judas did not stand out as a betrayer.

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Domestic Abuse