Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

In these three takeaways we can recognize the pattern of Vision, Intention, Means that Dallas Willard describes as basic to all spiritual formation. 1 Below, we briefly explore each.

Vision: I Must Pursue Spiritual Friendship as a Spiritual Discipline

First, Aelred teaches us that friendship is an important spiritual discipline. Repeatedly, Aelred reminds us that spiritual friendships with sisters and brothers are a reliable pathway to friendship with God. Finding a “soul” sister or brother—one who is committed to loving God with their whole self, and who also encourages us to love God with our whole heart—is one of the greatest gifts we can receive on earth. Perhaps reading Spiritual Friendship has also opened your eyes to how God can use friendships as a powerful tool to form your soul into maturity? Today we can believe and ask God for the kinds of friendships we read about in Scripture, friendships like those between David and Jonathan, between Ruth and Naomi, or between Jesus and his disciples. We can also look forward to increasing levels of joy and happiness in our life as we gain experience in spiritual friendship (3.76−81).

Intention: I Must Choose to Guard Time and Energy for Spiritual Friendship

Second, Aelred invites us to choose to prioritize spiritual friendship in our schedules and ministry priorities. Think for a minute about the story of the wealthy farmer in Luke 12:15−21. This worker was very smart about managing

1 Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2002), 82–91.