Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

characters, goals, and habits in life. This is what Cicero meant by “agreement with good will and affection” in matters both divine and human. 7 47. This definition seems to me to be sufficient to express what friendship is, provided by friendship we mean what we commonly take to be Christian love, so that we may exclude every vice from friendship. Good will, however, should be expressed as that feeling of love which is moved in our hearts by a certain enjoyment. 48. Where such friendship is, there is certainly that “agreement on likes and dislikes” that we mentioned earlier, and indeed this agreement is stronger to the extent that it is more sincere, and more pleasant to the extent that it is more holy. 8 Where friends love each other in this manner, they can desire nothing which is not fitting, and they can wish to avoid nothing which will advance their friendship. 49. Surely prudence guides this friendship, justice rules it, courage watches over it, and moderation tempers it. We will address each of these matters in its own place; now, however, please tell me whether you think I have sufficiently dealt with your first matter of concern, the nature of friendship. The Origin of Friendship (1.50−56) 50. IVO: What you have said is sufficient; I cannot think of anything further which I would ask you on this particular

7 Cicero, On Friendship , 6.20. This is the second of four times that Aelred uses Cicero’s definition of friendship. 8 See Spiritual Friendship , 1.40.