Think Again!

Chapter 12: Two Participation Pitfalls • 105

• I might lose what little I’ve gained. That would be awful. • I could die. That would be awful.

Notice how many of these lies are connected to a concern about what other people think . Imagine if you could be free of the expectations of others. What freedom could you experience if you didn’t have to consider everyone else’s reactions to you? Instead of saying to yourself, “I need to do everything I can to prevent others from thinking badly about me because that would be awful,” you could say, “What I fear may never happen, but even if it does, I won’t like it, but I will be ok.” Impulsiveness Impulsiveness is at the other extreme. While awfulizing is a fear of something bad that might happen , impulsiveness is a fear of missing out on something good . Impulsiveness comes from a single lie: “What ever you want, you should have it, and you should have it now .” Rather than thinking through the wisdom of your situation, you foolishly rush ahead, believing you have to force events to happen. Physical satisfaction becomes the central impulse of your existence. She insults you, so you immediately insult her back. You have a bad day and grab food to feel better. You see something you want to buy and purchase it on the spot even when you don’t have the money to pay for it. Impulsiveness is a reaction to circumstances without exercising self-control. You can recognize impulsiveness when you believe that life is unfair. Waiting for something you want seems intolerable. If you experience pain or discomfort, you believe something has gone awry in the universe. You are fixated by entitlement, and constantly Don’t collude with the devil through awfulizing.