Classic Program: Starter Facilitator Handbook for Healing Groups

• may take revenge, which results in conflict and more pain • may refuse to believe the person is really dead, or may think they’re still there • may hear or see the dead person Right after a loss, denial and anger are natural and can actually be helpful in some ways. Denial allows us to absorb the loss little by little and keep us from being overwhelmed by it. Anger can be a way of fighting against the loss when we feel helpless. It can give us energy and keep us from being overwhelmed.

Village 2: No Hope (6–15 months) • feel sad and hopeless • hard to organize their lives • continue to look for the dead person to come back

• may feel lonely, neglected • may want to kill themselves • may feel guilty even if no reason to Village 2 is the darkest place in the grieving process. People don’t expect anything good to follow.

Village 3: New Beginnings

• think about moving on to a new life • ready to go out with friends and have fun • may consider remarrying if spouse died, or having another child if a child died • will be changed by the loss; may be stronger. In Village 3, people increasingly accept the loss and their new identity. What is “normal” now is different than what was normal before the loss—a “new normal.” They may be more aware of what really matters in life, and may be more tender. Taking the journey Have Group 4 make up a crisis event they pretend they have experienced (death of a loved one by car accident, for example). They go on the grief journey. They act out the behavior of each village and then move on to the next village. But one person gets stuck in each village. Another returns from Village 2 to Village 1 (or Village 3 to Village 2)—for example, at the anniversary of the death. That person stays there a while and then goes back to Village 2. Explain that this is a normal, healthy response to grief. What is not normal is to stay in Village 1 or 2 for a very long time. The false bridge Show the “false bridge” with the two people set aside for this. Have one of them make up another loss. The other counsels him/her, explaining that there’s no need to go through Village 1 or Village 2, but that they should have faith in the promises

The Lessons

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