Healing the Wounds of Trauma

E. Forgiveness can change the person who offended us. Forgiving someone may be the start of God bringing that person to repentance. In Acts 7, as Stephen was dying, he forgave those who were killing him. One of those people was Saul, who later became Paul the apostle (Acts 7.59–8.1). ❂❂ SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION 1. What do you find the hardest thing about forgiving someone? What has helped you the most to forgive others? 2. What traditions do you have that help you to forgive others? What traditions do you have that hinder you from forgiving? • We allow God’s Spirit to show us how much our sin hurts him and others. This may make us sad and even weep (Jas 4.8–9). This sorrow can be good for us. “For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrowwithout repentance is the kind that results in death” (2 Co 7.10, NLT). Both Peter and Judas were sad that they had denied Jesus, but Peter’s sorrow brought him closer to God; Judas’s led him to kill himself. • We take responsibility for what we have done and clearly state our sin (Pr 28.13; Ps 32.3–5). • We seek God’s forgiveness of our sin, and then accept that he has done so (1 Jn 1.9). • We ask those we have offended to forgive us, without defending ourselves or blaming them (Jas 5.16). We should ask forgiveness in such a way that all those affected by our sin are aware of our repentance. For example, if we insulted someone in front of others, thenwe should ask forgiveness in front of the other people as well. • If we have repented in our hearts, we will show it by the way we act (Acts 26.20b). 5. What if we are the ones who have caused the offense? A. We need to repent.

100

How Can We Forgive Others?