Healing the Wounds of Trauma

Lesson 3 WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SOMEONE IS GRIEVING?

1. The night that changed Tony’s life Tony was home with his family after a long day at school and work. He lived on the “bad” side of town—if you weren’t from there you would never go there, except by accident. Tony lived in a cramped one-bedroomapartment with his two younger brothers and his mom. He had goals to finish high school and make a good life for himself and his family. He worked hard to stay out of trouble and to avoid the gangs that so many of his friends had joined. One night Tony took an extra shift at the pizza place where he worked, so he didn’t get home until 11 p.m. The busy corner where he lived was on the line dividing two opposing gangs in his neighbor- hood. They were continually fighting for control of this neutral street. On this night, a terrible battle broke out right in front of Tony’s house. His mom was on her way home from picking up his brothers and they found themselves in the middle of it. His youngest brother was shot and killed immediately, and Joe, his other brother, was seriously wounded and taken to the hospital. Tony came home to see police tape on the scene and blood splat- tered on the sidewalk. There was an eerie silence. He went inside and found no one home. There was a message on the answering machine. He listened to the recording of his mom’s shaky voice calling from the hospital to tell him what happened. Weeks after the youngest brother’s funeral, Joe returned home from the hospital in a wheelchair. Tony’s grief began to overwhelm him. He found himself crying when he least expected it. This made him feel embarrassed and he tried hard to hold in his feelings. He began losing sleep and was tormented with thoughts of guilt and

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What Happens When Someone Is Grieving?