Healing the Wounds of Trauma

regret. “If only I had been there, I could have stopped it!” Over and over again these thoughts ran through hismind. He also began to plot revenge on the gang members who had destroyed his family. Before long, he got an F on a test in algebra—a first for him. His boss threat- ened to fire him because he was making so many mistakes on the job. Tony’s mom became withdrawn and unable to care for the two boys. They began acting out in school and were on the verge of being expelled. Every night there was shouting in their apartment.

❂❂ SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION 1. What is Tony experiencing? 2. Have you ever felt like Tony?

2. What is grieving? Grieving is mourning the loss of something. This might be the loss of a family member or a friend. It might be the loss of a body part or the function of part of the body. It might be the loss of property or position. Whether small or enormous, all losses affect us and make us experience some degree of grieving (Ne 1.3–4). When people lose someone or something very important to them, they may lose their sense of who they are. This is particularly true when a spouse dies, for example, or when someone loses a part of their body or their sight. Through the grieving process, a person’s former sense of who they are changes and adjusts to their new way of life. This takes time. Because Adam and Eve sinned, death came into the world, and grieving is part of the normal process of recovering from a loss. Only in heaven will there be nomore crying (Rev 21.4). Because Christians have the hope of heaven, when they grieve they do not despair like non-Christians do (1Th4.13). They are sad, but they are not without hope or comfort.

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What Happens When Someone Is Grieving?