Healing the Wounds of Trauma

burial, there are many practical ways to help a grieving person. Widows and orphans are in particular need of help, and we are instructed to care for them: “What God the Father considers to be pure and genuine religion is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their suffering and to keep oneself from being corrupted by the world” (Jas 1.27). • Help them to understand that it is normal to grieve, and that it is a process that will take time. They will not always feel like they do today. It is important that they do not make major changes, like marrying someone, based on how they feel as they go through Camps 1 and 2. When they are in Camp 3, they will be able to make better decisions. • If there is no corpse, arrange a church service to remember the person’s life and to publicly acknowledge their death. A photo of the person or a cross can take the place of the corpse. If the family is dispersed, those who are displaced can hold similar ceremonies. • It is not unusual for a person to have difficulty sleeping in the early weeks and months after a loss. If people are not able to sleep, encourage them to get physical exercise. As appropriate, encourage them to take walks, do outdoor work, or get involved in sports. Getting exhausted will help them sleep better at night. • If the person denies that their loved one has died, gently help them realize it in small ways. For example, help the person to disperse their loved one’s personal belongings. • When the person is ready, you can read a promise fromGod’sWord, and encourage them to memorize it. For example: “The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope” (Ps 34.18). • Eventually, they need to bring their pain to God. The more specific they can be about their loss, the better. For example, they may have lost a loved one, but also an income, companionship, respect, or security. They should bring these losses to the Lord one by one.

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What Happens When Someone Is Grieving?