Healing the Wounds of Trauma

D. Caregivers may find out certain things in confidence that they must tell others.

When people share their problems with a caregiver, what they say is held in confidence. Some things, however, cannot be kept secret. These would include illegal activities, rape, plans that would hurt someone, or plans of suicide. Tell the people ahead of time that these things must be reported to the authorities.

E. Caregivers may find that they enjoy being at the center of everything.

Caregivers may enjoy a sense of power over other people’s lives. It may make them feel needed when otherwise they lack confidence. Sometimes helping others is a way of avoiding looking at one’s own problems. These are not good reasons for helping others. Caregivers may need to stop and look at their own motives for helping others to be sure they are pure. F. Caregivers may neglect to take care of themselves. Caregivers may think they should be strong enough to bear heavy burdens without complaining or becoming angry. But if they don’t acknowledge when they feel angry, sad, or afraid, they run the risk of serious spiritual and emotional exhaustion. And if they neglect taking care of their bodies by working nonstop, not eating well, not sleeping enough, or not getting exercise, they will run out of energy and may even collapse. G. Caregivers may neglect their own family. Caring for people takes much time. Caregivers can easily spend so much time with others that their own family is neglected. This will eventually cause serious problems. Spousesmay become depressed or angry. Childrenmay feel angry that their parent has time for everyone else but no time for them. The parent may not be at home enough to discipline them.The relationship between caregivers and their families may become distant, leaving them feeling lonely in their own homes.

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Caring for the Caregiver