Healing the Wounds of Trauma

Thenwe forgive again a littlemore thoroughly, and gradually wemake our way to complete forgiveness. When we forgive someone, we will still remember what happened. At first, we may still feel the pain associated with it. When this hap- pens, we need to continue to take the parts that hurt to Jesus. The commitment to forgive often comes before the feelings of forgiveness, and sometimes long before. As we bring our hurt to Jesus over and over, eventually we will feel less pain when we remember the event. If we forgive someone, it does not mean that we trust him or her immediately. Just because we have forgiven a person does not mean that he or she has changed. Even if there is a change, trust has been broken and will take time to rebuild. Little by little, as we have good experiences with that person, we will begin to trust him or her again. But it may take a long time before we can trust him or her completely, if ever.

Complete Forgiveness

Offense

1 mi

2 mi

3 mi

4 mi

5 mi

490 mi

The Cycle of Forgiveness

D. Let the offender face the consequences of their action. Forgiving someone does not mean that they will not be punished if they have done wrong things. By forgiving, we allowGod to judge and take revenge (Ro 12.19–21). He can do this much better than we can. God has also given national and traditional leaders the job of punishing criminals and protecting the innocent (Ro 13.1–4). Even though we have forgiven someone, it may be necessary to bring them to justice, for the good of the community. We should also defend the innocent from violent or evil people if they try to harm them. Forgiveness also requires the offender to pay back what he has taken, if possible. Some things, like virginity or a person’s life, can

97

How Can We Forgive Others?