Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 7: Accepting and Enjoying Spiritual Friends (Book 3.76–97)

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A Practical Example of the Joy of Friendship within a Loving Community of Disciples (3.82−84) 82. AELRED: But if somehow it is difficult to find such a one among all of those who are now alive (since this sort of perfection is reserved for our future), will we consider ourselves happier to the extent that people with such qualities as these are more numerous among us? When I was walking around the monastery cloister three days ago, as the beloved crowd of brothers was sitting together in a circle, I marveled as though walking among the pleasures of paradise, enjoying the leaves, flowers, and fruits of each single tree. I found not one brother in that whole multitude whom I did not love, and by whom I did not think I was loved in turn; and so I was filled with joy so great that it surpassed all the delights of this world. Indeed, I felt as though my spirit had been poured into all of them, and their affection had been transplanted into me, so that I could say with the prophet, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is, when brothers dwell in unity” (Ps 133:1). GRATIAN: Are we to believe that you have received into friendship all those whom you love thus, and who love you in return? 83. AELRED: We embrace many with every sort of affection whom we still do not admit to the inner secrets of our friendship, which after all consists mostly in the revelation of all our inmost secrets and counsels. And so the Lord says in the Gospel, “No longer do I call you servants . . . but I have called you friends” and adding the reason why the disciples were considered worthy of the name of friend he said, “for all that I have heard from my