Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 8: Giving and Receiving between Spiritual Friends (Book 3.97–134)

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of counsel, and yet another excels more in his positions of honor. In all these instances you should carefully consider what sort of person you should reveal yourself to be to your friend. Scripture deals well enough with money: “Lose your silver for the sake of a brother or a friend,” it says (Sir 29:10). But since a wise man has eyes in his head ( Eccl 2:14 ), we should do what the prophet says if we are ourselves members of the body and Christ is the head ( Eph 1:22–23; 5:30; Col 1:18 ): “My eyes are ever toward the Lord” (Ps 25:15); we should do this so that we can receive from him that formula for living about which it is written, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach” (Jas 1:5). 99. So you should give to a friend so as not to reproach him; do not look for gain in return; do not wrinkle your forehead, nor look the other way nor avert your eyes. Rather, with a serene and happy expression, and with pleasant speech, you should anticipate the request of a friend in need; help him with all goodwill, so that it seems you are granting his request without being asked. A man of honest spirit thinks nothing more embarrassing than to ask for a favor. Therefore, although there should be “one heart and soul” (Acts 4:32) between you and your friend, it is very harmful to your friendship if there is not also “one purse.” Therefore, this law should hold among friends in this matter, that they expend both themselves and their material goods in such a way that the one who gives maintains his cheerfulness, while the one who receives does not thereby lose his security.