Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

A careful listening to Aelred’s Spiritual Friendship , as well as reflection on the biblical friendships of people like King David and King Jesus, reveal an essential principle of soul work and soul care. We can be loving neighbors to all, but not spiritual friends. Good spiritual stewardship of oikos networks requires conscious investment of time, energy, affections, and resources in selective relationships. When we choose to be intentional about our spiritual friendships, we follow Jesus’ example of a way of life with varying levels of intentional relational investment. In your journal, or on a piece of paper, pause now and identify your own pyramid of prioritized relationships. At what levels do you already have strong relationships? Where are areas that you hope to develop in this next year? Once our own pyramid of prioritized relationships is identified, how can spiritual friendships be nurtured into greater maturity? The next section will outline five practical skills that can help develop spiritual friendship. Five Strategies for Building Spiritual Friendship Christians today who hope to develop and deepen spiritual friendships have a wide variety of resources available to them in our shared sacred roots. In this section, we explore five tools for building spiritual friendships from the many used over the past twenty centuries.

Spiritual Friendship Deepened through Shared Spirituality

Aelred lived in the same place and followed the same rule of life for over four decades. 18 He and his friends

18 For an introduction and explanation of a rule of life see Hank Voss, “Soul Work and Soul Care: Learning to Be Intentional about Our ‘Rule of Life,’” in Greg Peters, Becoming a Community of Disciples , 121–41.