Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Resources for Application

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were intentional about pursuing what Don Davis calls a “shared spirituality.” 19 For Davis, a shared spirituality means practicing the same spiritual disciplines with spiritual friends regardless of whether we are alone or together. Aelred practiced shared spirituality with his community. His rhythm included four hours of daily prayer, reading, and meditation on God’s word. All of the friends that he dialogues with in Spiritual Friendship — Ivo, Walter, and Gratian—shared this daily practice with him (along with all Benedictines). The four of them together with their whole community also held big parties (feasts) to celebrate things like Christ’s birth (Christmas), Jesus’ baptism and revelation to the world (Epiphany), Jesus’ resurrection (Easter), and his ascension to the right hand of his Father (Ascension Day). They also set times to fast together, like the forty days of the season of the cross (Lent) or the time of waiting for Jesus’ coming (Advent). Today, spiritual friends can also benefit from practicing a shared spirituality. It could be as simple as setting regular times to pray while together or apart. It could include sharing a Bible reading plan. Reading through the Bible chronologically with friends can be strengthening both to friendship and to one’s relationship with God. Many technological resources can make reading and sharing God’s word with friends easier. Taking advantage of the Christian Year is another helpful way to deepen spiritual friendship. Even while apart, you can share fellowship with your friends knowing they are celebrating the same great events of salvation history (e.g. the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus). As an example from the world of

19 Don Davis, Sacred Roots: A Primer on Retrieving the Great Tradition (Wichita, KS: The Urban Ministry Institute, 2010), 49−57, 103−15.