Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

sports, observe how tens of millions of people “fellowship” each year through watching the Super Bowl or the World Cup, even though they are in many different locations. These fans are united by a “shared spirituality” of sorts. In addition to celebrating, spiritual friends also fast together, setting aside particular days of the week or year for practicing this discipline. Many churches fast for the first twenty-one days of the calendar year. Others choose to fast for the forty days leading up to Easter (Lent). There are many options, but learning to practice spiritual disciplines with spiritual friends is a wonderful way to deepen spiritual friendship. Spiritual Friendship Deepened through Conversations When Aelred decided he wanted to teach his community about spiritual friendship, he chose to write three conversations between friends about friendship. Aelred’s book is built upon a long history of believers who intentionally set aside time for godly conversations with their friends. Consider four examples. (1) The book of Job provides an example of friends holding regular and extensive spiritual conversations, conversations that are brutally honest. Even though Job’s friends were not offering helpful input, the time they invested in their friendship with Job (e.g. sitting in silence for seven days) illustrates a deeper practice of friendship than many today. (2) Aelred was influenced by a spiritual classic called Conferences, a book consisting of twenty-four conversations between Cassian (d. 435), his good