Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 1: The Definition and Origin of Spiritual Friendship (Book 1.1–30)

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10. For what can one say about friendship that is more sublime, more truthful, more useful, than that friendship will be shown to be formed in Christ, advanced according to Christ, and perfected by Christ? So come now; tell me what you think we ought to investigate first in the matter of friendship. IVO: First I think we should explain the nature of friendship; otherwise, if we do not know what the course and contents of our investigation should explain, we may seem to be “painting in thin air.” “Friendship will be shown to be formed in Christ, advanced according to Christ, and perfected by Christ.” Cicero’s Definition of Friendship as a Conversation Starter (1.11−21) 11. AELRED: Cicero said, “Friendship is agreement on both human and divine affairs, combined with good will and affection.” 6 Isn’t his definition satisfactory to you? 7 12. IVO: If this definition is satisfactory to you, I suppose it should satisfy me also. 13. AELRED: Will we therefore agree that whenever people are in perfect agreement about divine and human affairs and have the same desires along with good will and affection, then they have attained perfect friendship? 14. IVO: Why not? However, I do not understand what Cicero, as a pagan, means by the terms “good will” and “affection.”

6 Cicero, On Friendship , 6.20. 7 Cicero’s important definition will be repeated three more times: see 1.29, 1.46, and 3.8.