Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 2: The Definition and Origin of Spiritual Friendship (Book 1.31–71)

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Discussion Questions

Aelred writes that “woman was created expressly as an incentive for Christian love and friendship, from the very substance of

the man himself. And so it is beautiful that the second created being was taken from the side of the first so that nature might teach that all are equals” (1.57). Aelred’s teaching about the equality of men and women may seem obvious now, but it was revolutionary in ancient times. Thinking about your own culture, what does spiritual friendship between men and women look like? Is it only possible between a married husband and wife? Is it possible for single men and women to be spiritual friends? What about a married spouse and someone of the opposite gender? What wisdom does your church’s tradition and experience bring to these questions?

Aelred thinks it is very important to understand the difference between Christian love ( agape ) and Christian friendship

(1.31−32). Have you considered this distinction before? Do you agree that while Christians are called to love all people, we can only trust our hearts to a few (1.32)?