Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

54

Spiritual Friendship

How do you feel about Aelred’s statement that we are not loving ourselves if we allow sin to continue in our life (1.35)? What about his

further claim that if we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to be true spiritual friends to another? Do you find this statement encouraging? Discouraging? Does it increase or decrease your desire to become the kind of person who can develop strong spiritual friendships?

Aelred says, “So if you carefully examine the things we have said about friendship, you will find that friendship is so close to wisdom, or

even filled with wisdom, that I would almost say that friendship is nothing else but wisdom” (1.66). Do you agree with Aelred that a wise life and a life full of true spiritual friends are almost the same thing? In what ways is he right? In what ways would you want to qualify or challenge his claim?

Aelred says that “spiritual friendship is born among good people through the similarity of their characters, goals, and habits in life” (1.46).

What habits might spiritual friends share that would encourage their love for God and for one another? Consider spiritual disciplines like Scripture memorization, lectio divina , a shared Bible reading plan, times of prayer, accountability groups, conversation, spending time together in creation, walking, hiking, or others that come to mind.