Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

Spiritual Friendship Begins with Christ, Grows through Christ, and Reaches Maturity in Christ (2.18−20) 18. AELRED: Have no fear on that account, my son. There is still much to say about the good we derive from friendship; if some philosopher were to pursue this matter thoroughly, you would think that we had said nothing thus far. Now, as to how friendship is a path to the love and knowledge of God, here is something to think about. Because there is nothing dishonorable in friendship, there is in friendship nothing made up, nothing faked, and whatever friendship is, it is both voluntary and true and holy. And this is also itself a quality of Christian love. 19. In this respect indeed friendship exhibits a special token, in that among those who are joined to each other by the bond of friendship all things are felt to be pleasing, all things seem secure, sweet and delightful. Therefore, from the perfection of Christian love, we are able to esteem those who are otherwise burdensome or unpleasant to us; we take account of their interests honestly, not disingenuously, not deceitfully, but truly and without being compelled to do so. However, we do not admit them to the privacy of our friendship. 20. And so in friendship are joined honesty and agreeableness, truth and pleasantness, sweetness and will, affection and action. All of these qualities come together in Christ, they are advanced through Christ, and in Christ they are perfected.