Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 3: The Advantages and Excellence of Spiritual Friendship (Book 2.1–27)

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Therefore, if we begin with Christ, the ascent to friendship does not seem too difficult or unnatural, since it is Christ who inspires the love with which we esteem a friend, Christ who even points out to us the friend whom we love. So agreeableness follows agreeableness, sweetness follows sweetness, and affection follows affection. The First Kiss: A Blending of Physical Breath Making One (2.21−25) 21. And so one friend clings to another in the spirit of Christ, and thus makes with him “one heart and soul” (Acts 4:32; 1 Cor 6:17 ), and so ascending together with his friend through the paths of love to the friendship of Christ, “a friend becomes one with him in the one kiss of the Spirit.” iv A kind of holy intent yearns after this kiss and says, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!” (Song 1:2). 13 13 Today’s readers may not be aware that the Song of Songs is perhaps the most important biblical book for understanding historical Christian spirituality. Besides describing the loving friendship between an earthly husband and wife, many read the book as describing Christ as heavenly groom and either the church or the believer’s soul as bride. Aelred’s good friend, Bernard of Clairvaux (d. 1153), gave eighty-six sermons on the Song of Songs with this focus on Christ and believers joined in spiritual marriage. Aelred’s comments on the Song of Songs should be understood in relation to Bernard’s sermons, available in multiple English translations under the title Commentary on the Song of Songs . Bernards’ Commentary on the Song of Songs continues to be required reading for Cistercian and Trappist Christian communities (more than four thousand members as of 2021) and the text was one of A. W. Tozer’s core thirty-five spiritual classics which he recommended to evangelicals for regular and repeated readings.