Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

Discussion Questions

This chapter begins with Aelred being very busy taking care of the administrative tasks required of him as a Christian leader (2.1). What are the things today that keep Christian leaders “too busy” for true Christian friendships?

In 2.14–15, Aelred and Walter discuss the idea that spiritual friendship is the best spiritual discipline for growing into spiritual maturity.

Spiritual friendship is called the “best path” to becoming conformed to the image of Christ (2.15). To what extent do you agree with their claim? Would you want to qualify or even contradict this claim about the importance of spiritual friendship for growing into spiritual maturity?

How do you feel about Aelred using three kinds of kisses to explain three different levels of friendship? Is his comparison of the abuse

of a kiss to the abuse of “water, fire, iron, food, and air” helpful (2.25)? What kinds of signs of physical affection between two spiritual friends do you think are appropriate? In your culture, what kinds of signs of physical affection are deemed appropriate between friends of the same sex? What about between friends of the opposite sex?