Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 3: The Advantages and Excellence of Spiritual Friendship (Book 2.1–27)

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At the start of this chapter (2.1), Aelred shows that he has developed the skill of being attentive to his friends. He is also able to ask them about potential negative emotions. What does this kind of attentiveness and honesty look like in your context today? What habits of observation and conversation are necessary for it to flourish?

Aelred wrote down notes about his conversation on friendship with Ivo (2.6). Gratian calls his conversation with Aelred about friendship a

“feast” (2.17). Aelred was intentional and reflective about his friendships. What might it look like to be reflective about the friendships in your life? Would it look more like journaling (“taking notes”) or like meeting with friends to talk? Do you do either of these on a regular basis? If not these activities, what other rhythms help you reflect about your friendships?