Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

of Chapter 5 discusses “how to choose a friend” (3.14−38). Aelred is asked to explain his choice of two friends known to be a bit explosive, and his response shows that our spiritual friends do not need to be perfect (3.16−21, 31−38). Aelred warns about five habits that will destroy any friendship, and those displaying these characteristics should not be chosen as spiritual friends (3.21−27). Text Introduction to the Third Conversation (3.1) 1. AELRED: Where have you come from, and why are you here? GRATIAN: Surely you have not forgotten the reason for my coming. AELRED: But is Walter coming? GRATIAN: Let him see to that himself. Certainly he will not be able to charge us with tardiness today. AELRED: Do you want to follow up on those topics that we agreed on? GRATIAN: I will trust Walter with that question. For I think I want him here for this conversation, since his mind is sharper than mine at understanding these things, and he has a better way of putting questions, and his memory is better at keeping a grasp on the matters we raise. [Enter Walter.] AELRED: Did you hear that, Walter? Gratian is more of a friend to you than you had supposed.