Healing the Wounds of Trauma

• A plan: They need to develop a safety plan to get out of the relationship. The safest time to leave is often when things are calm, rather than in the heat of a crisis. They need a place to go where the abuser cannot find them. They need practical help, such as a job and legal assistance. They may leave several times before leaving for good. • Healing of heart wounds: Victims need to find healing for their heart wounds and, in due course, forgive their abusers, but the trust that has been broken will take time to rebuild. ❂❂ SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION What is the most difficult part of domestic abuse for you? 6. How can we help abusers? • First, help them realize that they have a problem. They have deceived themselves. • Help them deal with the root causes of their problems and find healing. This work needs to be done before any thought of reconciling with the victim. • Help them identify the things that trigger their abusive behav- ior and develop better ways of responding. • If they are using drugs or alcohol, they need to stop. Support groups can help. • They need to forgive themselves for what they have done. • They need to ask their victim to forgive them, clearly stating what they have done and taking responsibility for it. This should not be linked to getting the victim back.

CLOSING EXERCISE

What has your church done to be ready to help victims of domestic abuse? What else could be done?

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Domestic Abuse