Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

Chapter 8: Giving and Receiving between Spiritual Friends (Book 3.97–134)

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mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor” (Prov 11:9; Ps 55:20–21 ). Thus, friendship should be so cultivated that under certain circumstances, perhaps, dissimulation is permissible, but never simulation. 11 Wait for the Proper Time to Correct Your Friend (3.109−113) WALTER: But how can dissimulation be necessary, since it is always a vice, as I see it? 110. AELRED: You are deceived, my son. For God is said “to dissimulate the sins” of the delinquent (Wis 11:23), not desiring “the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live” (Ezek 33:11). WALTER: Distinguish, please, between simulation and dissimulation. 111. AELRED: Simulation, as it seems to me, is a rather deceptive agreement which is entered into against one’s reasonable judgment. Terence expressed this accurately enough in the character of Gnatho: “Does someone say ‘no’? Then I say ‘no.’ Does someone say ‘yes’? Then I say ‘yes.’ In short, I have compelled myself to be agreeable in everything.” 12 Perhaps this pagan author has borrowed these things from our own storehouse of examples, since he has expressed in words the meaning our prophet intended to convey. For it is clear that the prophet said this same thing in the person of the Israelites who had gone astray: “Do not see . . . speak to us smooth things” (Isa 30:10). And elsewhere: “The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people 11 Dissimulation – temporary concealment of one’s true thoughts or feelings; putting on a pretense. Simulation – activity that is intended to deceive. 12 Terence, Eunuchus , 252–53.