Spiritual Friendship: Learning to Be Friends with God and One Another

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Spiritual Friendship

love to have it so” (Jer 5:31). This vice should be everywhere detested, always and everywhere avoided. 112. Dissimulation, on the other hand, is a certain way of dispensing with, or delaying, either a penalty or a correction, because of place, time, or the person involved— even though it may be against your better judgment. For if a friend should somehow transgress in public, he should not be immediately and openly corrected, but rather you should dissemble, considering the place; and indeed, as far as possible without lying, you should excuse what your friend did, while waiting to administer the correction until the two of you are alone together. So, at a time when the mind is preoccupied with many things, when it is less able to think of what should be said under the circumstances, or when because of external reasons the friend’s sensibilities are a little more stirred up because of some trouble, then, under these circumstances, one needs to dissimulate until the friend’s inner turmoil is settled and he can give your correction a more peaceful reception. 113. So, when King David was hindered in his lust and added murder to his adultery, the prophet Nathan deferred to the royal majesty when he was about to correct him. So he did not drive home his charge suddenly or with his mind in awe of the king’s great person; instead, he prudently relied on a fitting dissimulation and elicited from the king his own condemnation of himself ( 2 Sam 12:1–15 ). Should One Give Promotions to Your Friends (3.114−118) 114. WALTER: I find this distinction very pleasing, but I wish to know this: Suppose a man of some power is able to promote to high offices and other such dignities